Dear blog,
When I'm writing to you, you know that I am in trouble. I'm trying to focus on my breathe, breathing in, breathing out. Listening to plum village songs at the same time, I feel I become calmer a little and my mind is purified, the junk thought is pushed away. It's not easy to remember the Buddha teachings at all.
Last week, I couldn't sleep well. I wake up in the middle of the nights, and could not sleep again for 2 hours. I thought about my favourite Jane Austen's novel " Sense and Sensibility" and I feel that i am now at the end spectrum of impulsiveness. Now I need to not let things affect my life and adjust my focus on my priorities this year.
The thing I am scared most is losing myself in any situation. I have to keep reminding myself, whether things work out or not, they are meant to be. I am not young anymore but I still make some mistakes. Instead of hating myself, learn from the mistakes and move on!
This Lunar new year, I am sad because i will not be going home. Yes there is always a trade-off. Now i have to prepare for my US-Canada work trip. So many things to do and a little stressed :(. Focus and do my best L, I will be alright.
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